If there were a particular day in your life that you could live again, good or bad, what would it be?

If there were a particular day in your life that you could live again, good or bad, what would it be?

Answer here

Efforts

Women are fucking complicated. I'm so fucking tired of putting effort into trying to find a decent woman to be with that I'm about to say "Fuck 'em all" and make them show some fucking effort before I will even consider dating them.

I recently asked out two girls (a month apart) and they both answer me in the same way, which I believe was just a bullshit way of rejecting me. They answer with some form of "I'm seeing someone." I will humor that excuse for about a week, then I will call bullshit on them. A month or so ago, one girl gave me this answer and since she is still single, I sent her this message:

"So I noticed that you're still single. Has the guy you're seeing not asked you out yet?"

I have yet to receive a response yet and it has been 4 days since I sent that. I also got the same answer from another girl who is still single at this point. Once that week is up, I will be sending a similar message to her.

Seriously, I'm asking you out, but you're still single when you tell me this bullshit? Just tell me "NO!" That saves so much more time and frustration. It allows me to move on and find another girl to put effort into without being pissed off at the bullshit!

Another thought I had is that girls are afraid of hurting a guy's feelings. FUCK THAT SHIT! If you can't be real with me from the start, I don't really want anything to do with you.

No worries, though. I have someone in mind. I've actually been working on this woman for several months now and I feel like I've made pretty good progress. She doesn't know my feelings about her (at least, I haven't told her), but I have thought about asking her out recently since our friendship has gotten better and all that. I'm also worried that things might not go the way I planned and that we won't at least have that friendship that we've had recently. I'll see how things go and update as I feel like it. For the pursuit of happiness! :)

Detour

So, I didn't tell too many people a certain something that happened recently, for good reason of course. I started working toward taking online classes to get my Associate's Degree, majoring in Web Design & Interactive Media. I found out this morning that they could not set up any loans for me because my previous student loans were in default.

At this point, it will require me to voluntarily make payments for at least 6 months to be in good standing and to be able to get financial aid for the classes. I was a little bummed about it, but this is just an opportunity to take responsibility for my actions (or lack thereof in the past) and try to set things right.

I'm a very optimistic person, so I consider this to be a temporary detour rather than a dead end. It would only remain a dead end if I sat back and did nothing about it, however.

Procrastination has to come to an end or else I will get no where. The excuses that have become a close ally to procrastination have to end as well. No more self-created roadblocks. Time to hit the gas and take the roads I need to take, no matter how bumpy they may be.

That is all. Have a great rest of the week, everyone! :)

Dreaming...

I was having a dream just before I woke up today. It was a very interesting dream. I often have some very interesting dreams and even if you think it may be a silly dream, I figured this would be a good place to post it.

It was as if I were in a war-based game, infiltrating a small camp of enemy soldiers. There were soldiers lingering around, some cars, and a tank. The camp couldn't be much larger than 75 ft long by 75 ft wide.

It all starts when I come crashing through the back window of a car. I pop my head up to take out the tank with my bazooka. As I turn to take out the soldiers that have begun shooting at me, another tank appears out of no where.

I jump up out of the roof of the car and dart to the other side of the camp in order to evade the new tank. I must have run out of ammo for my bazooka, so I have to dance around in hopes to get close and plant a grenade or mine (or something).

I jump around a lot, avoiding the rockets being fired at me. As I jump out of the way just barely evading a rocket, I hear the voice of someone exclaiming in amazement about my acrobatic skills.

I suddenly feel a little exhausted and feel like I can't get up and that it's the end. The tank seems to be taking a long time to shoot its next rocket as well, so I do whatever I can to get up and move quickly.

I start grabbing at the ground as if it were a large net and I was climbing it rapidly. I continue to do this to begin circling the tank and get closer. I feel the rage and energy build up in me as I continue to circle rapidly while rockets come flying at me.

I finally get a little closer. It was just close enough to make a final leap over the tank to drop my grenade. I hear some beeping going off for a moment, but attempt to ignore it until I am awoken from my dream by my alarm clock.

What a finish, eh? Quite an epic battle, if I say so myself... haha. I hope you've enjoyed it as much as I did!

Penalty

I have an abscess, a few major cavities, some minor cavities and as of yesterday, my cheek began swelling a bit from the abscess. It had been swollen before, but I decided it was time to get the problem fixed.

So, I woke up at six this morning so that I could be at the Shands Dental Clinic before seven to (hopefully) be seen early. I arrive a little after 6:30 to fill out a piece of paper and wait to be called. I go to the cafeteria to grab something to eat briefly and come back just before seven. My name is called and I go up to the window. The lady asks me how I am paying for it and I say "Insurance."

She says, "We don't accept insurance, only Medicaid."

I'm a little baffled, so I ask her "Where do I go to be seen?"

She asks me if I have an appointment to which I reply, "No, how do I get one?"

She informs me that appointments have to be made months ahead of time, which doesn't make my temper any better. So, I decided to walk out at that point.

So, my rant begins now. How the fuck is it that I, a person who pays for his own insurance, cannot be accepted on a walk-in basis by the Dental Clinic at Shands at UF, but the goddamn government-funded fuckers get accepted? You know, I'm all for this "healthcare for everyone" or the idea that everyone should be taken care of regardless of whether they have insurance, but it's really fucked up when I get penalized for having insurance over the welfare bitches!

It just makes me want to punch that lady in the nose for being such a cunt! It's as much her fault as it is her employer's fault for not accepting insurance, so I don't regret this thought at all!

Nonetheless, I am looking for a good dentist in the area and hope to have my problem fixed soon. That is all.

An update would be nice...

So, I have neglected blogger for some time now and it is probably the best thing for me to say a little something.

My last post was back at the very beginning of September. It was not the greatest point in my life, but a time in my life that I had to go through. I have become a stronger person because of it and hope that I remain a strong person as I continue with my life.

Anyway, I am single again and working on some web design more than anytime before. I named this web design/graphic design company of mine Uniquely Pro. This was the name of the Myspace profile that I was using to test Myspace layouts before I decided to use it for greater means.

I am hoping to hear from a new client soon that is apparently willing to pay me for my work! And if I do good work, I may continue to get new clients and gain some credibility as a web designer! Good news in my book!

Since September, I have also started working in the Pharmacy Department as a Pharmacy Technician at Shands! I am coming up on my 6-month review soon as well!

I received some constructive criticism/good advice from one of my male co-workers and based on this advice, have started to take care of myself better. I have been shaving a lot more often, styling my hair up a bit and tweezing my eyebrows! I have received many compliments about how I look younger and happier and it feels great! :)

Other than that, I am a pretty boring person, so not much is new. Oh, but I think it's safe to say that I am somewhat interested in a certain Pharmacist that I work with, but more on that later... ;)

PS: I just read the blog for my 2009 resolutions and I would like to say that I have done well on the "Drink Less Caffeine" resolution and have recently been doing good on the "Eat Out Less" resolution and getting better! That second one has been challenging, but seems easier once I get into the habit of cooking more food for myself! :P